Apathetic Happiness

You’ll all realize all too late how much you’ve disappointed me, how much you’ve let me down. In these small times I am shown who real friends are. If you can’t handle what it is that I do, how I react at the most minute of things; and then in those times you fall back and not catch and pick me up, you’ve let me down. There’s no coming back from that, I wear thin of the disgrace but smile big to its embrace. Unbelievable. Look what I have succumbed to! Walking into dark spaces, hiding myself in strange places, leaving my heart open; allowing everyone to care in such apathetic ways. 

I allow myself to endure these things, so there’s no one to blame. It’s an outlet almost, to push those that want to be in my life away and to those that care nothing about me I TRY & PUSH for them to like me, to LOVE ME! And they do nothing. It’s all the same, the shit I do that I wish would make me happy. I am not being true to me, yet I know no other way. 

I’m sick and tired of being the shoulder to lean on when someone is in need, when I see them right at the clearing of the edge I drop everything to save them. But I tie the noose around my neck connecting me to hurt and pain of my ancestors; yet who saves me? I consider all those feelings to be… no words left to explain.

But I pray, if only you were truly my friend that you’d understand before it becomes all too late.

Ballet Apocalypse | Fabiana Mayer by Pablo Saborido

Ballet Apocalypse | Fabiana Mayer by Pablo Saborido

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Title: I Wanna Be Yours Artist: Arctic Monkeys 75,433 plays

bevare:

Secrets I have held in my heart
Are harder to hide than I thought
Maybe I just wanna be yours
I wanna be yours, I wanna be yours
Wanna be yours, wanna be yours, wanna be yours

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Theft: An Invasion of Our Property

                 Faith in Humanity? w/Cruel Neighbors

guess I should start on a new path. Start regaining trust back in people, I mean I should, shouldn’t I?

That was the thought I had his morning when I woke up. I was fully prepared to go ahead and take on the day with a smile until something horrible happened to my mother and I. Which left us $150.00 deep. Someone damaged our property, stole something that they could have easily purchase at some scrap yard or something. I was so shocked to see that you could but so much trust into your safety around your immediate neighborhood and then have that happened. We were absolutely distraught, I am sickened by once again my neighbors. There is possible reason that you should go out your way to deliberately hurt strangers, much less the most kind- hearted people surrounding your neighborhood. But they wouldn’t know because they do things like that, they care not who they hurt or offend, that seriously pissed me off.

I just have to keep faith in my family, and those that I find more precious to me. Well, I guess that just means my family.

 

 

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Title: Right Now (C&S by Sir CRKS) Artist: PARTYNEXTDOOR 1,657 plays

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